What about simply ignoring the communications that come from this
guy?  In fact, you can even remove the connection on LinkedIn after a
short while if you want to, and the other person doesn't see it
happen directly.  I've done this, and also removed endorsements I
made over a year prior, after which I decided I didn't have the same
level of confidence in the person.  My personal philosophy is that I
don't want any toxic connections in my LinkedIn network, and no one
that I don't have confidence in as they are a reflection of me,
however remotely.

Kristina

I had this happen to me. I said, "Gee, I'm not sure I can give you an
endorsement. I haven't worked with you for a long time and lots has happened
since then. I'm afraid I can't recall anything that would really help you,
sorry."

I expect this is probably too blunt, but at least he didn't ask again.

Sarah Sheard

Dear Liz,

I have had eleven bosses in my twenty-year career (bosses coming and
going rather than me changing jobs, for the most part) and I've
gotten along with ten of them. The bad match was a guy I worked for
from '94 through '96. I always felt he was slimy and underhanded.
When he left the company, we completely fell out of touch. I had no
reason to look him up and he never expressed much esteem for me,
either. Last week, I got a connection request from him on LinkedIn
and I was startled. I wasn't about to write to him and say "I don't
want to connect with you because I think you're creepy and
unethical." So I went ahead and linked to him. Sure enough, today
(five business days later) he writes to me and asks me for a LinkedIn
endorsement AND asks me to introduce him to my biggest client, who
has written me an endorsement that clearly indicates she's my client.
He doesn't say why he wants to meet her. I have zero confidence in
what this guy would say to her or what he'd try to sell her. How do I
back out?

Thanks,

Gretchen

================= LIZ WINCES AND WRITES:======================

Dear Gretchen,

Ouch! Ick, yuck, not a good situation. Still, if we assume that your
old boss is living in his own creepy alternative universe, he didn't
do anything wrong. He asked for an introduction from one of his
trusted colleagues (that's you!) to another LinkedIn user. So, at
least he's not 'pulling anything' except for being his usual slimy
self, and we'll give him the benefit of the doubt in assuming that he
doesn't see himself exactly that way.

You can get out of the introduction fairly easily by writing
back "Gosh, Stan, I know Amanda very well and she's not into LinkedIn
intros or introductions in general. She's nose-to-the-grindstone 24/7
and not a networker, and she takes my role in 'gatekeeping' her
privacy seriously." But you'll still be stuck with this guy's
Endorsement request and the likelihood that he'll strike again with a
request for another introduction before long (maybe one every five
days!).

Folks, what's your advice for Gretchen? Send your thoughts to
asklizryan@yahoogroups.com

Thanks! Liz

This is also my rule.  Most of those Unknowns, Unavailables, 1-000-000-0000s
don't bother to leave a message, so I don't think they know me.

My friends in the UK show up on my caller ID with only their number, but I
know their numbers so I do answer their calls.

Linda

On Tue, Dec 30, 2008 at 4:35 PM, Mary Palanchar <mpalanch@...> wrote:

>
>
>
>
> By the way, I have several friends whose numbers come up on caller ID as
> "unknown" or "blocked". They drive me nuts! As a rule, unless I see a phone
> number I recognize, I don't pick up.
>
> Mary
>
>

I'm sure there are as many ways to use social networks as there are people.
I see LinkedIn as "business" and Facebook as "social" i.e., a place where I
can meet new/interesting people all around the world who otherwise I
wouldn't meet. It's been great fun. The nature of my work is isolating and
its demands make it hard to find time to get out and meet people
face-to-face--a bigger challenge for me since I'm a classic introvert. (I
have no interest in friend/connection counts; that number is meaningless.)



At a public event/party where you didn't know everyone, you'd take the
initiative to meet new people who looked interesting. Maybe you'd hit it
off; maybe you wouldn't. If you thought they knew/might know someone you
also know or you had something in common, you might attempt to start a
conversation that way.  For example, a woman on this list wrote me asking to
meet in person. We didn't know each other beyond name recognition from ALR
posts. We had dinner, she's a totally cool and interesting person, and we've
stayed in touch since. Obviously I could have said no but I'm glad I didn't.
I enjoyed meeting her and wouldn't have if she hadn't taken the initiative
to ask.



With so little time to be on FB, I occasionally look through a friends
friend list to see who might be interesting to meet. Months ago, when Liz
connected, I looked at some of her friends because we have lots in common. I
have other friends/clients/connections in Boulder and was interested in
meeting more folks out there. I believe I contacted 5 people who looked like
folks I'd like to meet online who seemed to have common ground. One woman
happily accepted; we've had nice exchanges since, 3 did not reply; 1 fellow
asked how I knew Liz. So I explained I'd supported her work for many years
back from the WorldWit days, was a member of ALR, and regularly referred
many business/media connections to her because I am not in the career
coaching biz; she is and I trust her professionalism as much as my own. I
explained we hadn't met face-to-face although I'd hoped to do that on my
next trip to Boulder. Never heard back so I guess he just decided no, which
is anyone's prerogative.



My view is if you have a Facebook friend who has an interesting friend with
whom you might have something in common, I don't see it as a breach of
etiquette to send a friend request. (Writing to every friend they have yes;
selected friends, no.)



Linda M. Lopeke

http://www.linkedin.com/in/smartstartcoach







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi,

I am a senior executive at a small software company. I wear many hats
over an above my primary function and I report to the CEO. My salary
is set up with a base and then a bonus which is a percentage of
revenues over a certain threshold. [No where close $$$ to a wall
street type bonus] I had a baby last year at this time, when I came
back to work, a few months later, I negotiated a two step raise with
my base. I received the first 8% raise in June and then suppose to
receive another 8% raise in January. While this may sound like alot,
the second raise really gets me to the bottom rung of by base for the
salary range for a person with my experience, background in the
industry but just for my primary function. It also does not take into
consideration the other roles I have [Human Resources and others).
This is because I live in an area that has a high cost of living, so
the normal multiplier number quoted is 100, it would be 130.

By the grace of God and alot of hard work [I am responsible for
revenue and profitability], we made our company goal this year. I have
already started to get paid on my 2008 bonus money so while anything
could happen given the economy, my boss okayed it. My husband is being
let go from his job in the first part of January. All of our health
benefits will now need to be switched to me, so more coming out of my
paycheck, so on top of earning my raise & bonus. We really need it.
[of course, I would not bring this up when talking to him about my
raise--not professional]

Most of me (85%) feels fine about going in to confirm that I am
getting my raise in January because I have more than earned it. The
other 15% is aprehensive because its the worst economy since the
depression. I have a great relationship with my boss and I know he
appreciates what I do, my work and for the revenue size of the
company, he has made it clear that he wants me around and wants to
retain me. I know that women feel really responsible, so there is a
part of me that goes, sure, I could suck it up for a year or so. I am
grateful for my job and women are always the first one to pack it in
in this way. Since I have a good relationship with my boss, I don't
feel it would do too much damage.

So, what are your thoughts?

Gloria Goldstein

LIZ REPLIES: Hi Gloria, it's a super-straightforward question you're asking:
"Are we in synch vis-a-vis the salary increase schedule we put together last
Fall?" There's nothing aggressive or insensitive about that question at all. You
made a business deal and you're checking to make sure the necessary steps are
taking place. I urge you not to feel greedy or pushy or anything else as you ask
this question. As you point out, you're fairly modestly paid compared to people
with your experience, and I'm confident that the organization needs your skills
more now than ever. You might have to suck it up - but you'll never know if you
don't ask the perfectly reasonable question. Full speed ahead! Cheers, Liz

I tend to be nice to everyone, the only reason I would reject or delete someone
is if they put something unacceptable up, like one person who kept sending
racist stuff during the election campaign.
Since my facebook is such a mix of personal and professional relationships I'm
quite glad I've reached that stage of maturity where I'm the same person with
everyone...some of the stuff people put up there doesn't paint them in a good
light does it!!

~Tracy Pace

Hi all,

I can't stand getting that canned LI "I'd like to add you to my profl
network" line, but here's a new one above and beyond - I just email
sent via LI to connect addressed to "undisclosed recipients"!!!!

He sent out a blatently promotional ad for his services, and he's
sooooo considerate, he included directions for unsubscribing from his
email list! I guess he expects people to look him up and invite him to
connect, I didn't read that far, but he's clearly avoiding the
dreaded "I don't know him".

I don't even know how this guy did it - I don't know him, we're not in
the same field, so how did he find me, get my email address, build a
list and blanket-email a group of people through Linked In? Yuck!!!

NOTE FROM LIZ: No way V! I think I may have heard from the same guy, this
morning. My first thought: he's been IDK'd too many times and doesn't want to
take the risk. Can you imagine anyone following the directions to invite the
turkey to connect on LI? When you write to him to say "Please take me off your
list" he'll reply with "I don't have a list! What list? I just wrote to several
of my dear friends with a personal message." Ha! Cheers -- Liz

Dear Liz,
 
I'm active on my grad school's alumni council and our Director of Development,
who is very attune to relationship building, had a great way of dealing with
Facebook friend requests.
 
Under FB privacy settings, you can create custom friend lists (e.g. friends,
work, etc.) and decide how much of your profile and status updates you want each
of your lists to see.  So, for example, you can change your settings so your
"work" colleagues only see a limited professional profile and don't receive your
status updates.  Or your "random" friends can see a limited profile, but can't
see your email address and updates. 
 
Then, when a new person sends you a friend request, FB allows you to place them
in a friend list by drop-down menu.  In my opinion, the benefits are
organization and the ability to promote yourself and your company while still
protecting personal information.  I'm not suggesting that anyone approve creepy
stalkers, friend "collectors," or anyone you'd rather just reject.  But it's a
helpful tool to maintain good relationships with potential contacts.
 
Best wishes for the New Year!
 
Best,
Nikki 
 




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

By all means, request a severance package before you accept the job.
Best to negotiate the package while you still have leverage.  M



Martha C. Stark

Senior Vice President & Group Director

Signature Bank

You absolutely can, and in my opinion, should charge! What's the
worst that can happen - they don't want to pay you for free work?
What are you losing?

Now, to turn it into a business opp, I'd suggest you outline what
you'd actually be doing, which explains why you're charging. She
probably thinks you have a ready-made list in your head and it would
take you seconds to jot it down. You have to show her what you would
put into this - briefly describe your services, i.e researching the
new mall's potential brand and target customer profile, researching
retailers that cater to that profile for business soundness (the mall
doesn't want stores that are on the verge of going out of business),
expansion plans, etc etc. She can come back to you with "we already
have our research", which is fine, you still need to go over that so
your price can be adjusted accordingly.

Another option for payment is a commission for any retailer you
recommend that opens  store in the mall. Depending on your interests
and career goals, you could even offer to contact the retailers and
get them interested in the mall.

Many clients feel it's easy for professionals to just "whip out"
their expertise, and don't appreciate the time and effort that goes
into accumulating and keeping knowledge current. They have to be
guided to understanding that professionals should be compensated for
the knowledge they've acquired that enables them to do these things
quickly, and well, that "ordinary people" would struggle with.
Interior design is a good example - "oh, you've got a great eye, just
come over and tell me how to rearrange my room, it'll only take 5
minutes." Maybe, but how did you reach that state where you can do it
in 5 minutes?



--- In asklizryan@yahoogroups.com, Heather Kenny <heatherkenny@...>
wrote:
>
> Hello all,
>
> I am a fashion writer, personal stylist, and an expert on shopping
in
> the Chicago area, especially with regards to clothes and
accessories.
> Recently I got an email out of the blue from a representative from
a
> new shopping mall asking me if I could send her a list of my
favorite
> local stores (in some dozen or so categories!) and provide insight
on
> whether they might be interested in opening a location in the mall.
My
> initial thought was, Gee, sure, I'll get right on that in my spare
> time! However, this has brought up an idea I've had for a while
about
> offering my services as a retail/branding consultant to
independent
> boutiques. So I wonder if I might say "sure I can do this, for X
> amount of dollars" or something like that, or if that even seems
> reasonable. It seems fair to me to ask for some sort of
compensation
> for my time and expertise, and it might be good experience if I
decide
> to explore adding consulting services to my offerings. Wondering
if
> anyone out there in retail or in consulting might have some
thoughts.
> Thanks!
>
> Heather Kenny
>

Hey folks:  So, in typical, noncommittal fashion, as if he were talking
about a downgrade in brands of toilet paper, the Talking Head replied
to my email saying, "The agreement will be extended out to june 30 at
the same rate. There are no more monies available to Company Blah from
the Wingding contract to increase your rate unfortunately." (a direct
quote; names changed to protect the cheap and unwilling)

This is, at least, less harsh than the last time I attempted to open
this conversation, mid contract.  When I tried to justify an increase
by stating the quality of my work and enthusiasm, with substantiated
customer compliments and verifiable increased productivity, he actually
said, "Company Blah and I hold our folks to very high standards and
expectations.  Doing our job well and going above and beyond is the
standard, not the exception."  Really?!

Anyway, stalemated again.  This does not really seem like a response I
can counter with anything at all productive.  They've got me by the
proverbial coconuts.  I am indeed afraid that if I counter with "The
increase is tied to the 6-month extension," they'll come back
with, "See ya!" even though I know that probably wouldn't be in their
best interest.  This dude is slimy, cagey and unscrupulous.  (throws
hands up) I think I might need more pep! -- CW

--- In asklizryan@yahoogroups.com, "quixoti_c" <c.wade@...> wrote:

> Do it Carol! They can always negotiate with you if they want. THEY
signed a six-month contract - they could have asked for a one-year
contract. THEY were trying to preserve their flexibility. That's fine -
the six month deal ensured that your grossly-underpaid status would get
a looking over at the six month point, which has finally arrived!
There's nothing cocky about asking for an increase from Shockingly
Underpaid to Slightly Under Market.
>
> If they freak out at the rate increase, you can say "The fifteen
percent increase ties to the six-month extension. For a one-year
extension, I can reduce the increase to ten percent."
>
> Keep us posted! Cheers, Liz

Jackie,

This sounds like it could be a good opportunity and definitely sounds
like it will be a great adventure.  You should ask for an employment
agreement; ask as part of the negotiation after they give you an
initial offer.  However, don't be surprised if they tell you they
have a policy against contracts for people at your level - many
companies only provide these to C-level employees.  It's also
possible that their bankrupt status may make it difficult for them to
enter into such an agreement.

An employment agreement will only provide you with protection in the
case of termination.  It won't provide you with anything should the
firm emerge from bankruptcy.

If your concerns are only related to the bankruptcy, you don't need
to run in the other direction if the company won't provide an
employment agreement.  You should, however ask for a signing bonus.
Ask for an amount that you think would cover your relocation costs
and provide you with a little cushion (on an after tax basis) should
the firm fail in the near future and you decide to move back to the
Midwest.

With or without an employment agreement or signing bonus, I would not
recommend relocating if you don't really want to live in the new
city.  You don't want to live your life planning for your "return
trip home".  In my experience, starting a life in a new city is often
challenging and it can be very difficult if you're not excited about
and committed to doing so.  Being comfortable in your current
location will also make any future transition easier.

My entire department was laid off about six weeks after a company
relocated me from NY to Chicago.  I was lucky; I had a few personal
friends and acquaintances in Chicago and had started to build a
network of professional connections from that base – one of my
friends brought me to an in-person ChicWIT meeting when I was
considering relocating.

My story has a happy middle (it's far from over):  I got consulting
work before my severance ran out, got hired by a client, met my
husband, had kids and went out on my own.

If I hadn't thought of Chicago as my home, I probably wouldn't have
been happy even if that job lasted for six years instead of six weeks.


Good Luck,
Lisa Curran

Dear friends,

Here's Roger Ebert's list of the best films of 2008:

http://tinyurl.com/rogerebertbestfilms2008

Cheers! Liz

Hi Kitty,

Thank you for your response. I really appreciate your insight and
experience. This has really given me a lot to think about, especially if leaving
the
corporate world and going into non-profit.

Susan

In a message dated 12/29/2008 10:42:46 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,
kittycollins734@... writes:

I have  worked in both for-profit and non-profit.  The first thing I would
say is that non-profits cover a wide group of organizations and so it is
better not to generalize.  For examples, hospitals, governments, schools  and
universities, unions, foundations, trade associations, professional  societies
(medical, dental, engineering, lawyers,etc), AARP, AAA, chambers of  commerce,
churches, fraternities and sororities, most cause-related  organizations---are
all non-profits. Income comes from a variety of  sources--dues, grants,
services, member activities, etc.  Many  non-profits function very much like
for-profit businesses and are bound by the  same accounting and employment laws.
They
market programs and sercices  (often called member benefits) just like
for-profits.  Non-profits don't  have stockholders to retrun profits to and the
agenda is determined by the  bylaws and governing body.Some non-profits have
more
member input than others  and competing
agendas by same.  Some people are members to do good;  others are members to
do themselves good.
I would approach a job with a  non-profit as you would with a for-profit:
where does the money come from,  where does it go, who is the competition, who
makes decisions, how much  growth has the organization seen/foresee in dollars,
members, services,  etc
And as in most positions, satisfaction depends a lot on who you  work with on
a day-to-day basis.
Good  luck.

Dear friends,

Here's a story about being well-prepared for a job interview --
cheers! Liz

A TALE OF TWO INTERVIEWS

One job candidate came off as intelligent and prepared, but the
second one stunned his prospective employer (in a good way). Here's
how it happened


A midlevel market researcher went to a job interview the other day
and told me about it. He was struck by the first three
questions. "The interviewer came out of the gate at full speed," he
said. Still, he thought he did pretty well. Here's a more or less
accurate transcript:

So, what are your thoughts on the market research job we're
discussing?

Candidate No. 1: I think it sounds challenging and fun. The ad says
you're building the marketing research capabilities for your renal
products group, and it sounds as though there'd be new challenges
every day and some interesting tools and systems to work with.

Like what, specifically?

Well, I've done a lot of survey research, but the survey tools listed
in your job ad aren't familiar to me, which makes me think they're
specific to the medical-products industry. The good news is that I'm
an amateur programmer and very fluent with technology, and I'd be
excited not only to become proficient with the tools you use but also
to customize them for our needs, if I join your team.

What do you think will be hardest or most frustrating about the job?

It's always tough to come into a busy and deadline-oriented situation
and deliver results, but I pride myself on that. I'd see getting up
to speed while meeting challenging goals as the biggest hurdle, but
this is my strong suit. I love to drink from a firehose.

That's the report I got. The candidate was pumped after the
interview. "I'd say I've got a 60/40 chance of getting a second
interview," he told me.

————————

A few days later I heard from another job-seeker. "I just interviewed
for the market research position for renal products I told you
about," he said. No kidding, I said. I asked if he remembered the
interview questions he was asked. He did indeed, and recounted this
conversation to me:

So, what are your thoughts on the market research job we're
discussing?

Candidate No. 2: A fascinating puzzle. As the industry shifts away
from distributing renal products through distributors to a direct-to-
providers model, the company is going to have to know a lot more
about how hospitals make purchasing decisions than they've had to
worry about before. Market research is central to that shift—not just
focus groups and surveys but rhetorical analysis and other tools.

Like what, specifically?

We've got to know how the people who will be using our products — and
the ones who will be purchasing them — think. We've got to answer to
a different set of decision-makers. The two-tier distribution scheme
gave us a buffer from the users of the product, and that's
disappearing. I'm dying to know how people on Internet forums and
health-care discussion networks view our products. I'd like to
explore a longitudinal user panel that can help us track the
perceptual changes associated with our products as the company moves
through the elimination of the traditional distribution mechanism.
I'd like to interview nurses and docs and patients. Of course, the
regulatory environment precludes certain types of research that might
be viewed as having a product-marketing aspect. That's going to take
some careful navigating.

What do you think will be hardest or most frustrating about the job?

Not gathering the research data, but translating it and selling it
upstream to the decision-makers — whose notions of product
requirements have been shaped by decades of selling through channels
that don't exist anymore. Old habits die hard, and I'm thinking
through the data sets that would be most compelling for the product
managers and developers as they consider adapting their views.

To read the full story, please jump to
http://tinyurl.com/taleoftwointerviews

In addition to the severance package, how about renting a company-
paid small apt and keeping your current home, either locked up or
subletted, until they emerge from bankruptcy, and then relocating? If
you don't rent out your current residence you can go home on weekends
and holidays. Or perhaps a 3 days/week at the job location, 2 days
work at home until they emerge. This gives you both a chance to see
how it goes before investing in moving for you, and relo costs for
the company.

--- In asklizryan@yahoogroups.com, software110 software
<software9@...> wrote:
>
> Would you accept an offer to work for a company that is in chapter
11 bankruptcy? It's a director level position and the company
considers it to be an executive management position. This public
company operates the business as "debtors-in-possession." They expect
to emerge from bankruptcy in the second quarter of 2009.  They can
use my help but it would require a company-paid relocation from the
Midwest to the South.
>
> It's a great job but the fact that it's in bankruptcy makes me
queasy. That it would require relocation (I'm single) makes me more
so. If the bottom should fall out I would prefer not be stuck 850
miles from home.
>
> I know I should protect myself by asking for a severance agreement
but I'm not sure what and when to ask. If they refuse to engage in
such an agreement, would it be best to run the other way? Any
suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
>
> Jackie
>
> NOTE FROM LIZ: Could be an opportunity, Jackie! If you like the
work and the people, I'd consider taking it, but absolutely only with
that employment agreement in place. The employment agreement will
give you six months or a year's severance (start with a year and they
can negotiate down) if you're terminated without cause, plus a check
for the cost of your relo back to where you live now or another city.
Get an employment attorney to write that agreement for you. If they
won't do it, I wouldn't go --- especially because of the relocation.
Best, Liz
>

Belinda and anyone else whose parents are on Social Security,

I wouldn't be so sure that the caller was "legitimate". There shouldn't be any
reason for anyone to verify her Medicare number over the phone. When she had her
procedure done, I'm sure they took a copy of her Medicare card, so they have the
information they need. I've had to deal with all sorts of health care providers
and billing departments over the last several years and have never been asked
for anything other than Mom's account number and the date of service.

I too applaud your mother and am glad that she knows not to give personal
information over the phone. Several years ago my mom had a similar situation,
but I wound up spending a great deal of time talking to the police and
monitoring her credit reports. She knew enough not to give out her Social
Security number, but, as she explained, they didn't ask for that, just her
Medicare number!

Make sure your mother also knows not to make any appointments with anyone who
wants to visit with her for one reason or another, no matter what services they
may be offering. They can sound so nice over the phone. And people of our
parents' generation are just way too trusting.

By the way, I have several friends whose numbers come up on caller ID as
"unknown" or "blocked". They drive me nuts! As a rule, unless I see a phone
number I recognize, I don't pick up.

Mary


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I think that is why they have the "ignore" option.

Unless you 'suggest' they be friends I think what your contact did is not
appropriate.

Have a similar situation.  There are many people in my industry who are
'friends' and I get requests all the time.  Some of these have 10 or more
mutual friends of mine.  I don't know these people but wonder if I should
put them on 'limited' status or not.

Not sure of the advantages and disadvantages here.

I do find that people who I communicate with on FB have become closer
friends in the real world too.  And clients and colleagues who are friended
also feel like a better connection.  Very strange dynamics from this type
networking.  Maybe when you see their holiday photos and realize they have a
life outside work, you just naturally like them better...

Carol

One last thing that this person, or any one else going back to college, wants to
check is what used to be called "credit for life experience".  The worse they
can od is tell you there is none.  The best that can happen is you might receive
some unexpectyed credits, just by asking a question.

LIZ NOTES: Great idea, William! "Bacnize" means "To inflict bacn upon." "Bacn"
means "Spam originating from a social network."
Cheers! Liz

First of all Liz what is the word bacnize?  One of the challenges with
networking groups like LinkedIn, Facebook, etc is whose invitation to accept and
whose not to accept.  I have two general rules on these sites:
Keep business and family/personal separate, though I do have a couple family
members on my Facebook account.  If I am doing business I really don't care to
see family vacation or graduation pictures.I only accept or extend invitations
from/to people that I know personally and could speak about personally.  I am
really not interested in introductions from people who have thousands of
connections.  I do not see them as any value.There seems to be a trend of
thought out there that says you should get as many people in your connected
lists as possible.  This goes against everything I have ever read, heard or been
taught about true high end networking.  And I know some of the best, including
Liz.  This is the same nonsense as going to a trade show, networking event, etc
and walking out with a hundred cards after a few hours.  What you have is a mile
wide and an inch deep.  Networking is built on strong deep relationships, not
numbers.

Now to Liz's question.  I think all this get as many names as possible is what
leads to the scenario you just described Liz.  Unfortunately as long as we have
people "teaching" networking who don't understand it we will have this.

The people who die with the most "connections" or business cards don't win. 
They just have the most.  YAWN

Feel free to use the following.  This is my standard turn down response:

Thank you for the invitation to connect on LinkedIn.  I, however, take a
different approach than a good number of people do with groups like LinkedIn. 

I only connect with people I know and have a relationship with already. 

I find the value of networking organizations like LinkedIn is the ability to
make recommendations based on a relationship with and personal knowledge of
someone.  I feel the same way when someone is introducing me.  I want them to
have a personal relationship and are introducing me based on that personal
relationship.

Again thank you for the invitation.  I wish you all the best.




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dear Friends,



I received a telephone call from my mother a short time ago and she told
me something I thought was worth mentioning.  Her caller ID showed as
"Unknown".  Normally, she would have let the voice message system take
the call, but she answered it.  The person identified themselves as a
representative of a medical center billing department and they needed
verification of her Medicare number (her Social Security number).  While
she had a procedure done at the medical center a few months ago, she was
never the less wary of this call.  An unknown person asking for personal
information over the phone?  No way!  She declined to provide the data
and referred the caller back to their own records.  They could also call
her physician's office and that contact information would also be in
their records.  Otherwise, they could send a request in writing.  They
have her address in their files.  Now there are numerous companies who
contract with physicians and medical centers for billing and other
support functions.  However, if a company or independent contractor is
going to do this, it would behoove them to be sure that their company
name comes across and not be listed as "Unknown".  I don't doubt that
the representative who called was legitimate and was no doubt angered by
the lack of response, but with so many scams going on and especially
focused on senior citizens, I applaud my mother's handling of this
situation.  She did what law enforcement agencies have urged for years,
don't give out your personal information.



Belenda Tonge

Supervisor Ops1

DCP Midstream Measurement Auditing

bltonge@...

  www.dcpmidstream.com <http://www.dcpmidstream.com/>







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Would you accept an offer to work for a company that is in chapter 11
bankruptcy? It's a director level position and the company considers it to be an
executive management position. This public company operates the business as
"debtors-in-possession." They expect to emerge from bankruptcy in the second
quarter of 2009.  They can use my help but it would require a company-paid
relocation from the Midwest to the South.

It's a great job but the fact that it's in bankruptcy makes me queasy. That it
would require relocation (I'm single) makes me more so. If the bottom should
fall out I would prefer not be stuck 850 miles from home.

I know I should protect myself by asking for a severance agreement but I'm not
sure what and when to ask. If they refuse to engage in such an agreement, would
it be best to run the other way? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.

Jackie

NOTE FROM LIZ: Could be an opportunity, Jackie! If you like the work and the
people, I'd consider taking it, but absolutely only with that employment
agreement in place. The employment agreement will give you six months or a
year's severance (start with a year and they can negotiate down) if you're
terminated without cause, plus a check for the cost of your relo back to where
you live now or another city. Get an employment attorney to write that agreement
for you. If they won't do it, I wouldn't go --- especially because of the
relocation. Best, Liz

Hello all.  It's been a while since my travails in the world of
independent contracting have been posted here.  No news has been
mostly good news.  While somewhat safe from the economic crises
working in financial regulation, and filling a unique, singlular role
in my organization, I am just as vulnerable as always, and moreso,
working as an IT contractor in these slippery times.

My six month contract is up tomorrow.  I hadn't heard anything from
my far-off, disembodied bosses about its renewal.  There was talk of
a degree of certainty at the beginning of the contract (June '08),
about being hired by the firm proper at this time, but it was all up
in the air for six months.

I sent an email yesterday; what's the deal for Jan '09?  Not-very-
pleasant boss replies that things will remain status quo; I'll
continue contracting for him, and he's going to send out an extension
of the contract for another six months.  Contractually, though, I'm
pretty sure he can't do that -- the contract as signed states it
terminates tomorrow. Since the extension is new information, he can't
append it onto the old contract, without redrawing a whole new
contract.

(And yes, he's trying to get away with this because he doesn't want
me to try angling for a rate increase.  I lowballed myself savagely
out of "gratitude" in June -- read: idiocy -- since I was so psyched
to get even six months of relative stability.)

So, I sent an email back proposing a re-drawing of the contract with
new dates 1/1/09 to 6/31/09, with a $15 per hour increase to the pay
rate.  On average, I'm making about %50 less than I could be making,
so a $15 hour puts me right in line with not kicking myself in the
a**.

I've heard talk here of "survivor guilt" -- that gnawing screech in
the back of my head that states, "You're lucky to have a job!"  But
this is the first time in my life I'm actually doing well --
shouldn't I be paid what I think I'm worth, and shouldn't taking a
little less than enormous be in line with a little humility, given
the climate?

I need a little pep talk or something, because my hot little head
already pulled the trigger, and is quavering under my desk,
chattering, "I'm gonna get fired! I'm gonna get fired!" even though I
know it would be silly for them to fire me, since I'm the only me
they've got.

*sigh* -- Carol

PEP TALK ARRIVING IN THREE SECONDS:

Do it Carol! They can always negotiate with you if they want. THEY signed a
six-month contract - they could have asked for a one-year contract. THEY were
trying to preserve their flexibility. That's fine - the six month deal ensured
that your grossly-underpaid status would get a looking over at the six month
point, which has finally arrived! There's nothing cocky about asking for an
increase from Shockingly Underpaid to Slightly Under Market.

If they freak out at the rate increase, you can say "The fifteen percent
increase ties to the six-month extension. For a one-year extension, I can reduce
the increase to ten percent."

Keep us posted! Cheers, Liz

Hello - a friend of mine just got diagnosed with MS (she's 35) and
while she's done all of the clinical research on the web, I think she
could use a support group (electronic or otherwise).

Does anyone have resources they'd be willing to share?

Thank you!

Caryn

Ooo...great question, Denise!

I also think this will be a good year for the nimble and ambitious,
and I'm planning to ramp up all of my "free" (i.e., time-intensive
rather than cost-intensive) marketing activities to capitalize on
that.

So like you, I'll be even more active in my online social networking
groups, especially Facebook, which has surprised the heck out of me in
the last six months with its usefulness, and have committed to writing
5x/weekly to my main blog, which drives a lot of business traffic for
me (and which I neglected in 2008).

Offline—what used to be known as "in the real world"—I've already
started reaching out to friends and associates who belong to
professional groups that are a good fit for my consulting services
regarding speaking possibilities. And I'm initiating local meetups of
a terrific on/offline-networking group I discovered during my month in
Seattle this fall.

I'm also looking for more win-win "marketing" activities, where I get
my name out there but help other people do the same. I'll be reviewing
more books (all my online friends are suddenly authors!), doing more
interviews and otherwise looking for ways to cross-promote, as it
were. Only if it's a good fit, of course!

Finally, to keep me HONEST, I've also started a new blog project,
where once weekly, I'll be blogging the whole danged process (of
systematically ramping up my marketing) out loud, on a marketing blog
I co-author and cross-posted to a brand, spanking new one.

Thanks for bringing this up: great topic for the group!

xxx
c

P.S. I'm also planning to stay in better touch with the people I
already know, so if anyone has any great tricks for not letting good
people fall through the cracks--electronic or paper--I'm all ears!

colleen wainwright  |  communicatrix
http://communicatrix.com
http://virgoguidetomarketing.com/



> On NPR, they mentionned that 2009 would be a fruitful year for freelancers
> as most companies are holding off on hiring, however the freelancers might
> have to work three times harder to secure projects. As a freelancer or small
> business owner, how are you planning to keep your costs down and your
> solicitations up?

I consider myself a very selective, social-only Facebook user.  I only
"friend" people I know personally (even if I haven't seen them in years) and
interact with in social situations, and I only request to friend people I
know in the same manner.  I consider Facebook to have a more social vs.
professional slant to it, as opposed to LinkedIn.  While I'm LinkedIn with
all of my former supervisors for professional networking, I am only a
Facebook friend with one that is a part of my personal life.  Similarly, as
I manage a global marketing team, I don't tend to friend people on Facebook
who work for me or with me (they don't need to see a Facebook update that
says "Kelly wants to win the lottery so that she can quit her job").

When I receive a Facebook request from someone a) I don't know or b) I don't
consider a "friend," I simply ignore their request.  You can also block them
if needed.

For example--we attended an open house about a month ago for a condo.  I
filled out my info on the sign in sheet, happy to get emails from the
realtor if any appropriate properties came on the market.  Instead, he sent
me daily Facebook friend requests, regardless of how many times I ignored
the request.  After the 5th or 6th request from him, I blocked him.

Why?  I don't know him.  I also personally think he should be using a
different networking medium for his business.  While I'm not posting
anything outrageous or scandalous on Facebook, I just don't want him to see
my daily status updates, photos, videos, etc. of my friends and family.  He
doesn't need access to any of this in order to recommend some properties and
expand his business.  As ours would have been a strictly a business
relationship, if the realtor had contacted me via LinkedIn I would have been
happy to add him to my network and converse with him there.  IMHO, Facebook
is not the appropriate venue for him to try and expand his business
opportunities and contacts.  (I do know that others may disagree)

I'm happy for my *real* friends to keep me updated on their life and
business ventures via Facebook...just not complete strangers.  I consider
Facebook a place to keep in touch and share with people I already know (19
year old college students might disagree with me here!).  There are other
networks I leverage for more professional relationships.  Some may disagree,
but after years of searching for an appropriate work/life balance, I feel it
is an important separation between my personal and professional
lives--similar to keeping both a work cell phone and my personal cell phone
so that I can turn each off as appropriate.

That said, I absolutely love Facebook and have used it to reconnect with old
friends--I'm not really sure how I kept in touch with everyone without it!

Best,
Kelly


<asklizryan@yahoogroups.com>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Weeeell...

From the details you provide, Jane does look like a friend collector.
You didn't mention how many people she has in her network, but if it's
a high number and there's not a lot of personal interactivity in her
stream, bingo! She's either adding numbers because she likes looking
popular (we as a culture have a hard time with the "less is more"
ethos) or because she's saving them up against some nefarious
networking purpose.

Of course, as someone else mentioned, there is the possibility Jane
and your HS bud know each other from somewhere else. Live long enough
and get out every once in awhile and the world gets shockingly small
at times.

There's a third possibility. Jane may just have found your friend
interesting! I've connected to a few friends of friends (and vice
versa) just because they were funny or wrote about interesting stuff.
It's rare, but it happens, and it's part of the randomizing fun of
social networking.

But you ALWAYS send a nice note explaining yourself under these
circumstances! At least, you do if you want me to friend you. :-)

xxx
c

colleen wainwright  |  communicatrix
http://communicatrix.com

NOTE FROM LIZ: Just to be clear -- these two folks don't know one another in any
way. One guy went to HS with me in NJ ten thousand years ago. "Jane" doesn't
know him and barely knows me. Within three hours of having me accept her friend
request, Jane sent my HS buddy a friend request. I'll bet you're right, Colleen
- she probably found him interesting. Still. Seems like she might have either a)
explained her actions to him or b) asked me what I thought about reaching out to
my friend or c) both. Our social capital is the glue that holds our networks
together. When we sort of misuse someone else's S.C. by, for instance, reaching
'across' that person to that person's friends, it's not good.

Cheers -- Liz

Hello Heather:

Your expertise is certainly worth something and I would not be reluctant
to put a price on it. As a consultant that has worked in several
different fields over the years I know how important it is to keep your
mind open to new opportunities. Many a career has sprung from a request,
out of the blue, for knowledge such as yours. For now you might want to
price it in line with your other services and see how it goes. You may
be able to command more in the future since it seems like a very
specialized skill. Best of luck to you!

Judy


--- In asklizryan@yahoogroups.com, Heather Kenny <heatherkenny@...>
wrote:
>
> Hello all,
>
> I am a fashion writer, personal stylist, and an expert on shopping in
> the Chicago area, especially with regards to clothes and accessories.
> Recently I got an email out of the blue from a representative from a
> new shopping mall asking me if I could send her a list of my favorite
> local stores (in some dozen or so categories!) and provide insight on
> whether they might be interested in opening a location in the mall. My
> initial thought was, Gee, sure, I'll get right on that in my spare
> time! However, this has brought up an idea I've had for a while about
> offering my services as a retail/branding consultant to independent
> boutiques. So I wonder if I might say "sure I can do this, for X
> amount of dollars" or something like that, or if that even seems
> reasonable. It seems fair to me to ask for some sort of compensation
> for my time and expertise, and it might be good experience if I decide
> to explore adding consulting services to my offerings. Wondering if
> anyone out there in retail or in consulting might have some thoughts.
> Thanks!
>
> Heather Kenny
>

Dear Liz,

Yesterday morning I was listening to the local news radio (KNX 1070).
The curent state of the economy was a topic at one point, and they had
a couple of sound bites from the CEO of some big job search firm.
Admittedly, these are taken out of context, but I nearly choked when I
heard it.  This CEO says, "Do not use the internet for your job
search.  Don't get on the internet until after dinner."


NOTE FROM LIZ: That's nearly incomprehensible. Then again, my friend Dave had a
boss, a managing partner at a law firm, who said "The internet? Bunch of hype.
So what, you can buy shoes online, big deal!" Hmmmm :-) Liz