Man Kills Self before Shooting Wife and Daughter
 
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.   
 

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
 
No, really? Ya think?
  
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 
 
Now that's taking things a bit far!
 
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
 
What a guy!  
 
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
 
 No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!
  
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 
 
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
 
 War Dims Hope for Peace 
 
 I can see where it might have that effect!
 
 If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
 
 Ya think?!
 
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures 
 
Who would have thought!
 
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges 
 
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?Oklahoma's new construction program! 
  
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces BatteryCharge 
 
 He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 
 
Weren't they fat enough?!
 
 
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft 
 
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
 

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 
 
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
  
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors 
 Boy, are they tall!
 

And the winner is.... 
 
Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead 
 
Did I read that right?