Saw this posted in a group I subscribe to and thought you might enjoy it.
(If you choose to pass it along, please be kind enough to cut and paste it into
a new email, and NOT hit the forward button, which would pass my email address
along. I am trying to keep spam down to a manageable minimum. Thanks.)
Richard

Genesis Release 2.5

In the beginning, the Project Manager created the Programming
Staff. The Programming Staff was without form and structure.
And the Project Manager said, "Let there be Organization," and
there was Organization. And the Project Manager saw that
Organization was good; and the Project Manager separated the
workers from the supervisors, and he called the
supervisors...."Management", and he called the workers....
"Exempt".

And the Project Manager said, "Let there be a mission in the
midst of the Organization, and let it separate the workers,
one from another." And the Project Manager created the
mission and he called it...."The System". And the Project
Manager separated those who were to benefit from the System
from those who were to build it. And he called the former....
"Users", and he called the latter...."Programmers".

And the Project Manager said, "Let all the Programmers in
the Organization be gathered together into one place, and let
a Chief Programmer be brought up to lead them." And it was so.
And the Project Manager saw that he was competent.

And the Project Manager said unto the Chief Programmer,
"Create for me a schedule, so that I may look upon the
schedule, and know the "Due Date".

And the Chief Programmer went among his staff and consulted
with them. And the staff was divided into two parts, one
part was called...."Analysts", and the other part was
called...."Application Programmers". And the Analysts went
back to their desks and estimated, as was their custom. And
it came to pass that each Analyst brought his estimate to
the Chief Programmer, whereupon he collected them, summarized
them, and drew a PERT Chart.

And the Chief Programmer went unto the Project Manager and
presented him the estimate saying, "It shall take ten months."
And the Project Manager was not pleased and said, "I have
brought you up from the depths of the staff; you have not
grasped the 'Big Picture'." And the Project Manager hired
consultants, and authorized overtime, and he said to the
Chief Programmers, "Behold, see all that I have done! The
Due Date will be in five months." The Chief Programmer was
much impressed and went from before the Project Manager and
proceeded to implement The System.

And the Chief Programmer sent his Analysts to the Users and
said, "Let Specifications be written." And there were
meetings, and lunches, and telephone calls. And the
Specifications were written. And there was a Payday and the
Happy Hour, one month.

And the Chief Programmer examined the Specifications and saw
that they were too ambitious. And he separated the mandatory
features from the optional features; and he called the
mandatory features...."Requirements", and he called the
optional features...."Deferred", and the Users called him
names. And the Chief Programmer gave the Specifications to
the Analysts and said, "Let the Requirements be analyzed and
let the Files be designed." And it was so. And the Chief
Programmers said, "Let the Software Houses put forth their
Salesmen, and let us have a Data Management System." And
it was so. The Software Houses brought forth all manner of
Salesmen who presented their packages, and claimed wondrous
things for them, each according to his own file structure.
And it came to pass that a Data Management System was
selected; and the Chief Programmer saw that it was good.
And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a second month.

And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the System be divided
into parts, and let each part be called a 'Module'." And
let programming teams be formed and let each be assigned
to write a Module." And it was so. And the Chief Programmer
created the programming teams with two levels, a greater and
a lesser; and he called the greater the "Senior Programmers",
and he called the lesser the "Junior Programmers". And he
gave the greater dominion over the lesser. And the Chief
Programmer saw it was good. And the Junior Programmers saw
it differently. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour,
a third month.

And the Chief Programmers said, "Let the programming be
started and let much overtime be consumed, for there is
but two months left." And the programmers, both the Senior
and the Junior, were much afraid, and they strove to please
the Chief Programmer. And they flowcharted, and they coded,
each in his own fashion. And the Chief Programmer looked
upon the work and liked it not. And the Chief Programmer
said, "Let there be a Standard"; and there was a Standard.
And the Programmers looked upon the Standard and liked it
not. And there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a fourth
month.

And the Chief Programmer said, "Let there be Progress
Reports, so we can monitor and control"; and there were
Progress Reports. And the Chief Programmer looked upon the
Progress Reports and saw that the Due Date was not to be met.
And the Chief Programmer arose, pressed his suit, shaved his
beard, and went unto the Project Manager, and groveled. And
the Chief Programmer pointed his fingers, and caused Blame
to issue forth upon all manner of creatures who sold Hardware
and Software. And the Chief Programmer asked for an Extension.

And the Project Manager was exceedingly angry, and cast doubts
upon the Chief Programmers's ancestry; and uttered a multitude
of threats. But it came to pass that an Extension was granted;
and the Chief Programmer took the Extension back to the
programming teams, and there was much rejoicing. And the
programming of the modules was completed. And there was a
Payday and the Happy Hour, a fifth month.

And the Chief Programmer said, "Let the Modules be integrated,
one with another, so that System Testing may begin." And it
was so. Two by two the Modules were integrated one with another.
And great difficulties were experienced, and many hours of
overtime were used, and many cups of coffee were consumed.
And it came to pass that System Testing was completed. And
there was a Payday and the Happy Hour, a sixth month.

Then the Chief Programmer did go to the Project Manager and
said unto him, "Behold, I bring you good tidings of great
joy which will come to all the Users; for on this day The
System is completed." And suddenly there was with them a
multitude of Users praising the Chief Programmer and saying,
"Glory be to The System in the highest, but can you make
this one small change?"

(DATAMATION Reprint)



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