From Performance Management (McGraw-Hill), by Robert Bacal, p
186 (crossposted to performance management list and
performance tips list)

Here are some suggestions for cooling down situations that are
getting too hot:

When conflicts occur during performance-related discussions,
focus on two goals. First, you need to come to some agreement on
the issue. It's not a question of who will win, but of finding a
mutually acceptable position. Second, whatever the subject,
manage the discussion so it's less likely to hurt your relationship
and cause future problems. Both goals are important.

Allow some room for employees to express frustration and anger
without firing back. Sometimes people say things that they don't
mean when they're frustrated.

Remember that conflict occurs when people care about what they
do. Think of conflict about performance as a conversation between
two people who care a lot about what they do.

(a number of other tips are included in the chapter).




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